Title: BareNaked (Part 11 of Barely
Breathing)
Author: Befanini
Website: http://www.fanfiction.net/~befanini
Disclaimer: I wish. Enough said. XD This is
just an insomniac's daydreams.
Rating: M
Summary: In the arithmetic of love, one plus
one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. Rated sxgxs.
Dedication:
For
C4PyroGirl, the best "stalker" a girl could have. XD I told
you, didn't I…
For
Mangamamma, who first honored me. :)
For
Jessica, who knows why. X3
---
A/N: To
read the amazing piece that inspired this madness, go to:
communityDOTlivejournalDOTcomSLASHloveUNDERSCOREorUNDERSCOREdeathSLASH62303DOThtml#cutid1
Quote
used in the summary by Mignon McLaughlin.
---
---
#01 – Comfort
Comfort
is the cold feel of metal on my skin… the rings on Sanzo's arm gloves. Yeah,
and sometimes the gun too, when we're feeling extra kinky. Heh.
Comfort
is red raining down on me, obscuring my vision of the outside world, falling
over my face in a sheer, silken curtain… drowning out even the rain.
#02
– Kiss
There's
the kiss that the whole world is witness to… sometimes, when we light our
cigarettes from the other's. Rarely.
And
then there are the kisses that only we know about, the ones that result in
spontaneous combustion. At all times that we could steal away.
#03
– Soft
The
tendrils of hair at his nape. Unbelievably so.
Don't
you believe it. He may look and act tough, but he has the softest heart.
#04
– Pain
Sanzo.
Wounded, fallen, bleeding, unconscious, helpless, in danger, in coma. I choke
when he's hurt.
Gojyo.
Everytime some ignorant, arrogant fuck is stupid enough to insult him…
or even when it's just plain circumstance and the harsh reality of this stupid
world. He is NOT a filthy halfbreed. He is a taboo child, yes, and he is beautiful.
#05
– Potatoes
The
way he drowns his mash in butter, and those golden eyelashes drift down as he
takes a blissful mouthful. Doesn't the damn monk know gluttony is a sin?
A
spot on the corner of his mouth shining with grease from the french fry he's
sucking on. His eyes catch mine as his tongue darts out to lick it off.
Bastard.
#06
– Rain
Rain
means a sullen, silent Sanzo, devouring my mouth with hard, brutal lips,
fingers buried painfully in my hair, hips slamming into me savagely, seeking to
empty his pain into my yielding flesh, and I am his willing slave.
…
And at other times rain means the tenderness I find in ardent red eyes, as
strong brown arms wrap me in their embrace, and gentle hands and soft lips and
a low, silky voice devoid of its usual teasing soothe me and quiet me, and all
my anguish is swallowed up and obliterated in the heat and passion of his
possession.
#07
– Chocolate
The
things I do with chocolate are a sin. Heh.
The
games he dreams up with chocolate are blasphemous. Especially with
brandy-flavored dark chocolate…
#08
– Happiness
Happiness
is waking up from a nap, cramped, dusty, and bored; and catching him gazing at
me with soft eyes in the rearview mirror.
Happiness
is lying naked in bed, rereading the paper, and knowing he's coming in a few
minutes to spend most of the night.
#09
– Telephone
Once
we stayed in this really fancy place, and by a rotten twist of luck Goku roomed
with Sanzo while I shared with Hakkai. Even meeting in the private bath wasn't
enough; and I spent three hours whispering naughty things to him on the
telephone. Heh.
And
the hotel bill the next day must have given the Sanbutshushin multiple heart
attacks. (NO, we are NOT getting mobile phones!) (Pleaaaze…) ('Ch. NO.)
#10
– Ears
Sanzo
has the cutest ears. Like a girl's. (Twitch.) I love nipping them with
my teeth.
And
the damn pervert's ears are his most sensitive spot. (Shaddap, monk!) He
melts when I—mmphh!
#11
– Name
Angel.
Baby. My Sanzo.
…
Baby. (Fierce blush) Sometimes. When he's not too annoying.
#12
– Sensual
Black
top. Arm gloves. Cold face and wild passion blazing in cool amethyst eyes. The
way he loads his gun. Damn.
Generous
lips. Lazy, seductive drawl. Swagger. Hell, everything about the bastard
is sensual.
#13
– Death
I
die a little death each time I look past today and contemplate the future after
the journey west is ended. How could I ever let him go now…?
There
has to be a way, beyond this stupid mission. There has to be. I'd be as
good as dead without him tormenting me. I'd rather die than give up his voice
murmuring huskily in my ear.
#14
– Sex
No
matter how it happens – slow and gentle, hard and furious, teasing and
leisurely, frantic and urgent – it always somehow, nowadays, ends with a
fleeting soft look, and an even softer kiss bestowed with silent, reverent
lips.
#15
– Touch
I
crave his skin against my own. I need it like I need air to breathe.
He
taught me to enjoy being touched… and to ache to touch him in return.
#16
– Weakness
He
only looks fragile. But the man is so strong – in body, in will, in
spirit – he's so strong he makes me weak.
If
I had a weakness… it would be the way he moans my name, like he's
drowning.
#17
– Tears
My
brother always told me "don't cry". When I finally GOT it – it was his
voice I heard, Sanzo's, as the salty wetness flowed down my face for the first
time. "You won't change anything by dying. But you can change something
by choosing to live." Trapped in that labyrinth of mist, his words
finally enlightened me about what Jien had been trying to say all along. "It's
only tears."
Only
he has seen me cry. I woke up from that damn nightmare, my face streaked with
stupid tears, and there he was, in the corner, apparently watching over me. And
he said not a word about them. He just offered his gruff companionship and his
broad shoulder, and I went back to an exhausted, healing sleep… knowing he was
there with me.
#18
– Speed
Hell,
no! My endurance is legend. Heh. (Baka…) That fleeting, burning glance
across the campfire, swiftly shuttered by golden eyelashes falling down to
curtain passionate purple depths.
Copping
a feel in the midst of battle? He's a legend, alright. 'Ch. (Hehehe…)
#19
– Wind
The
wind is a nice excuse to huddle up, all four of us together; and I can lean
into Sanzo and put my arm around him freely as we all wait out the storm.
Sometimes
it gets too windy on the road, and Gojyo pulls his hair up into a messy
ponytail… and I can't decide whether he's sexier with his hair up or his hair
down.
#20
– Freedom
Freedom
is following him wherever he leads, for the rest of my life. And I don't care
about permission or give a damn about approval either. (I never asked you to
come with me…) (I know, I know.)
Freedom
means standing tall in the middle of a pack of youkai, confident that his blade
will slice through them all even if I have run out of bullets.
#21
– Life
He
taught me that. He restored my belief in it. "The ones with the
strongest will to live are the ones who survive." Somehow, I'm not
just 'existing' anymore. I have never felt so alive.
He
taught me the sweetness of sin, and infused this jaded soul with a new
lust for living.
#22
– Jealousy
I
hate that the whole world wants a piece of him. I want him all to myself. And
all the stares and admiring glances he gets wherever we go… I have to restrain
myself every time from shouting out loud. He's MINE, dammit!
I
would absolutely RELISH putting a bullet through anyone who's ever known the
pleasure of his body in the past. He's mine, dammit! (Hehehe…) (You'll
shut up if you know what's good for you, asshole.)
#23
– Hands
I
love his hands in my hair, cradling my skull, clasping my head to his shoulder
when we sleep.
He
has the most amazing gift for kneading away knots of tension on my back and
neck. (My hands also have amazing talent for creating "tension"
in other places, hehehe…) (U-ru-sei…)
#24
– Taste
He
tastes pure. Like spring rain, like the ocean spray, like morning dew and a
roaring waterfall. And yes, he tastes like sunshine. He tastes divine.
He
tastes earthy, and lush, and exotic. Like lemongrass, and pomegranate, and
passionfruit. Like blackforest gateaux and wild raspberries. Like rum and
whiskey, and bourbon vanilla. He tastes like sin.
#25
– Devotion
My
hands are not tied by fate, or obligation. I'm with him because I choose to
be.
The
moment those red eyes gazed into mine, and he opened himself and exposed his
vulnerability… the primal and savage way that he let me glimpse his pain… well,
I had no choice, really. From that moment on I found myself doing things
where he was concerned that completely contradicted the outward contempt that I
displayed toward him. Go figure. The truth is, he got under my skin from day
one. It just took me a while to admit to myself that I liked having him there…
and that it's where he belongs.
#26
– Forever
And
ever and ever. No matter what. No matter where. There's no escape from me…
Sigh.
Ain't that the truth. … And I wouldn't have it any other way.
#27
– Blood
Because
of him, my blood-red hair and eyes seem less of an admonishment and more of
what marks me as a survivor with the will to live. Against all odds.
Because
of him, I escape death countless times… whether he's giving me his blood, or
bleeding himself protecting me in battle.
#28
– Sickness
He
can be so tender and caring when I'm sick. Heh.
He's
a big baby when he's sick. End of story. (OI!) … and he keeps patient,
unceasing vigil over me when I'm down. (That's more like it…)
#29
– Melody
He
never sings to me, the way I do to him; but sometimes when I'm blue he pushes
my head down on his lap and combs his fingers through my hair and he hums
softly to me.
The
bastard has a beautiful singing voice. Pity it's so annoying the rest of
the time. (Objection, your honor!) (See what I mean?)
#30
– Star
He
likes to stargaze. I keep him company, and enjoy playing the student as he
teaches me bits and pieces of astronomy.
It's
nice to be quiet together, on our backs, having a few smokes, and perhaps a
bottle of sake between us.
#31
– Home
Wherever
he is.
…
Wherever he is.
#32
– Confusion
It
used to confuse the hell out of me, the way he'd snarl and push me away in
utter disgust when I tried to put a friendly arm around him… and then he'd turn
around and pull out the fan if I so much as smiled at a pretty girl. My
Sanzo…
I
can't think straight when he's near. Damn hot-blooded rascal.
#33
– Fear
He's
human. I'm half-breed. You do the math. It doesn't bear thinking about.
That
Hazel bitch hit a nerve. Any of them can still turn, especially the
closer we get to our goal… And the thought of watching the passion fading from
those beautiful scarlet eyes as I put a bullet between them tears me up inside.
#34
– Lightning/Thunder
When
he pours himself inside me, I see lightning behind my closed eyes as I gasp and
get sucked into a blinding climax with him.
When
he empties himself inside me, all I hear is the thundering of my heart as it
pounds release through me and my pleasure peaks with his.
#35
– Bonds
The
sash on his robes, or even my bandanna. Heh. The Jakujou, the Maten Sutra… (THWAK!)
No, seriously. I'd handcuff him to me for life and swallow the key.
…
Muichimotsu be damned. My soul bound itself to his long before I even knew it.
#36
– Market
Can
you say pickled ginger? Hehehe…
(Urusei!)
And what about him and his perverted toys… (Ah, but you know those toys are
for us to play with…) (Shut up! Think about your sins and don't go making
me add to my own!)
#37
– Technology
Huh.
He's been neglecting me a lot lately since he got hooked on gaming. He's an addict,
I tell you. It's sick.
'Ch.
At least I don't spend hours on the Internet wasting my time downloading
obscene files. (OI! For your information, I surf for 353 fiction and fanart,
baka!)
#38
– Gift
I'll
tell you a secret. I have a lucky charm. I keep it with me all the time. It's a
single red bead. He gave it to me, after that Rikudo business. Tossed it
to me oh-so-casually, with the cool remark that since I recognized the beads
for what they were, that he figured I deserved a little souvenir. His way of
saying thanks for letting him sneak out so he could finish the job. Can you
imagine? He actually gave me a tiny little bead, and I cherish it like it's the
most precious thing in the world. I treasure it for the words unspoken that
came with the gift. Stay safe. For my happiness.
He's
tried to give me so many absurd things – sometimes silly, sometimes
sentimental. But I already have his gift… it's inside me, pumping in my veins.
I guess that's how he's managed to turn me into as much of a pervert as he is. (Smirk)
#39
– Smile
A
quirk of the lips and I want to gobble him up. Pity he doesn't do it more often
– he has the sexiest smile. Yes, I admit it. Even sexier than mine, and that's
saying a lot.
Hn.
Roguish, feral, naughty, flirty, defiant, taunting, or amused… watch how he
smiles at the little kids. That's the smile that gets me.
#40
– Innocence
He
has the face of a fallen angel… And I have to keep telling him it's not my
fault if I'm still a chick magnet. He ought to know by now he's the only number
in my little black book these days. Honestly!
(Snort)
Lying in his arms in the dark, I feel pure and whole and untainted. When he
presses his lips to my forehead, like I'm a little child… he somehow bestows me
the innocence I never really had.
#41
– Completion
I've
been broken, and I've bled, and I've stumbled, and been blind… And yet when he
threads possessive fingers through my hair, and gazes passionately into these
eyes, and places tender kisses over my scars… he restores me, and I am whole.
At
the close of day, there is only him -- large, knowing hands, hard bronzed body,
silken hair and eager lips and claret eyes full of wild worship… and I lose
myself in him, and he loses himself in me, until there is no distinction
between us. The fucking mission be damned. Nothing else matters.
#42
– Clouds
Ever
played the cloud game? All the bakazaru sees is food, food, and more food.
Occasionally, when Hakkai gets a chance, he sees weird, exotic animals. The damn
monk refuses to play. Big surprise. Me, I see the strangest things…
He
sees perverted things. Period. (Oi! I see US doing perverted things,
if you must know…) I don't waste a breath on those loud morons, I just try
to imagine an orange paper airplane – but all I see these days are red flowers…
#43
– Sky
On
the road, hands linked behind my head, and golden hair blowing in the breeze in
front of me… I lean back, squint up into that cerulean blue, and dream dreams.
On
the road, hands folded inside my sleeves, and with wicked red eyes caressing
the back of my head… I look at the horizon and confirm to myself: the journey
is what matters.
#44
– Heaven
He
is sheathed inside me to the hilt, and we are almost there, and our breaths
hitch and he tears his mouth away; and he buries his face on my shoulder and
bites down on my flesh and I arch up into him and howl as intense pleasure
roars through us both.
He
pulses inside me at the same moment that I release in his hand, and he
collapses down full length on top of me, a weight that I relish, pinning me
down as he drowns me with greedy, tender kisses.
#45
– Hell
I
watch him crawling on the floor at my feet, gasping, his beautiful body bruised
and battered, but with his jaw set and a steely light in those fierce amethyst
depths that refuses to cower… and I am broken, knowing that I am
the cause of his pain – knowing that his strength is sapped and his soul is in
agony because of me, because I broke away against his wishes to pursue
my own, to right a bitter sense of injustice against two innocent souls, and I
forced them to come after me. … And now the sight of him there, as he collapses
at my feet stabs me with harsh, razor-sharp rebuke, more than any
threats or curses or bullets ever could. I've said it before – I choke when he's
hurt – and knowing I brought this pain upon him is a cross I find I have
hardly the strength to bear. I hate myself for causing those tears that
streak his proud porcelain face.
To
stand there above him, and order Goku to hold him down, as the cruel seed takes
root in him and ravages his body… More than the horror on Hakkai's face at the
spectacle of me, his "savior", seriously pointing a gun at his
best friend… More than the confusion and terror on the bakazaru's bewildered
face… More even than the desperate defiance and wild rebellion in those cocky
red eyes… It is the terrible knowledge that I hold Gojyo's life in my hands,
and the margin of error is so slim that it's ridiculous. Without precious time
to waste in doubts or hesitation, I look down the barrel of my gun, and for the
first time the weight of steel and the smell of gunpowder hangs heavily over
me, as I aim at the magnificently bold and maddeningly infuriating bastard's
heart – I take a deep breath, a silent prayer to the damn, fucking gods
passes my lips without words, and I fire. … And his chest explodes with
the deafening roar of the shot, and crimson colors my vision, and I am in HELL
as Hakkai drops to his knees and frantically applies his chi… And then, through
the thundering in my ears I hear "He's alive!", and I'm back
to cursing the bastard for having put me through that nightmare.
#46
– Sun
For
me, it's not his hair that's like the sun. It's his voice. It is arresting and
incandescent, beautiful enough to embrace, if you could. It can burn and sting,
as much as it can send warmth through to your very fingertips… encompassing
you, enveloping you in its radiance. It's true – the moment I heard his voice,
I was lost… And these days, when he's in a mellow, tender mood, and he holds me
and tells me that I'm his… I am as overwhelmed as I feel watching the
heartbreaking beauty of the setting sun.
That
is what he is to me – the blood-red, pulsing glow of the setting sun. He is
fiery yet gentle, he sets me aflame and soothes me at the same time. Believe it
– he is all the clichés that that dusky orb at day's end brings to mind. He is
romantic, and passionate, and ardent, and at times so softly tender… that I
almost forget how he's so irritating half of the time. (You just HAD to slip
that in, didn't you, you bastard…) (Smirk)
#47
– Moon
I
swear, his skin is made of moonlight.
The
weapon that protects me has a blade in the shape of a crescent moon.
#48
– Waves
Wave
upon wave upon wave of sheer bliss… Can you honestly blame me for having
to –er – "adjust my trouser size"? Heh. (Baka…) (That's baka
ERO kappa to you.)
His
voice is like the waves of the sea. Seductive, mysterious, wild and lazy and
free. (Happy now?) (You bet, baby…) His voice is his true weapon.
Never mind the "long legs" and the maverick long hair and the
come-hither eyes and the sexy grin. The moment he speaks, and that voice washes
over you – that's what makes him irresistible. And devilishly wily, and wheedlesome,
and persuasive. The rogue has the art of teasing down to a capital T.
#49
– Hair
I
seem to remember doing to him, once long ago, what he now loves doing to me…
losing his hands in my hair. Weird, huh?
Stranger
still – I remember it too. (What the fuck?)
#50
– Supernova
Unfathomable
energy. Scalding heat. Blinding light. Destruction and chaos giving birth to a
new celestial body… Clashing ions, churning elements, pulsing and spinning
crazily in space… Raw and primal and as natural as anything else in the
universe. Intense and savage, merciless and powerful – obliterating all in its
path, sucking everything in, a whirlwind, a tempest, a cosmic storm. Timeless,
and pure, and total. An epic explosion that rocks the very Heavens, and then it
collapses back on itself – oblivious, self-absorbed, and complete. Fulfilled.
The maelstrom metamorphosed into a maverick new star – surviving the turmoil
and the conflict, having gathered all that writhing, shifting turbulence and
bending it forcefully to its will, taking command of its destiny, and earning
its rightful place in the Heavens… And the cycle repeats itself through the
ages. THAT is the story of us.
-owari-
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