Title: No Promises
Author: lawless

LJ: http://lawless523.livejournal.com/
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Sanzo/Hakkai
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for m/m sex and profanity
Summary: Hakkai had not expected sensuality to lurk underneath Sanzo's gruff and aloof exterior.
Word Count: ~2400 words
A/N:  An unbirthday giftfic for seshats_prodigy  Prompt: Sanzo/Hakkai, first kiss. Despite the innocuousness of the prompt, I took it and turned it into PWP (mostly).

Thanks to kageotogi for the beta-fu. I touched it last, though, so any remaining mistakes or oddities are mine alone.

No Promises

The first kiss was chaste, a mere brush of Sanzo's lips against Hakkai's. Sanzo stood back for a moment, gauging Hakkai's reaction. Hakkai stood there, his mouth slightly agape and his eyebrows raised, but he didn't say or do anything.

Truthfully, he was surprised -- though, looking back on it, maybe he shouldn't have been. Sanzo had been sending subtle signals for a while. For one, he'd begun standing closer to Hakkai than his normal personal boundaries would permit, but Hakkai just thought it was Sanzo micromanaging what he was doing. He should have remembered that Sanzo preferred delegating to micromanaging.

The second kiss was hesitant at first. Sanzo delved past Hakkai's slightly parted lips and explored Hakkai's mouth until their tongues met, curved, looped, and tangled with each other. After a few minutes, the two of them separated, panting and breathless, staring at each other with lust-darkened eyes.

Hakkai recalled Sanzo staring at him with an appraising glint in his eyes recently, but he hadn't thought much of it at the time. He was too busy as it was with the day-to-day details of their journey to worry about whatever odd looks Sanzo gave him. Although Sanzo delegated many critical tasks to him, and he knew Sanzo trusted him, he wasn't sure he could even say they were friends. Sanzo wasn't particularly the kind of person who had friends.

Now he knew that Sanzo's stares had been another signal he'd missed.

By the third kiss, Sanzo had maneuvered them over to the single bed. Hakkai found himself sprawled on his back with Sanzo on top and Sanzo's arousal digging into him. For the time being, he gave up trying to figure out what was happening and gave himself over to pure sensation. It had been too long since anyone had touched him like this and it felt too good for him to bother analyzing it.

After Sanzo broke the kiss, he untied his sash and pulled his robes off his shoulders, letting them fall in a heap on the floor. Now clad only in his jeans, shirt, and sleeves, he looked searchingly at Hakkai before reaching for Hakkai's pants.

Hakkai was surprised – shocked, even – that Sanzo was determined to take things this far. He blocked Sanzo's hand and said, "Are you sure?"

Sanzo stared at him, eyes blazing. "I didn't think you were stupid enough to ask me that," he responded.

Now that he put it that way, Hakkai realized it was a silly question. Just about everything Sanzo did was deliberate. Not necessarily well-thought out – his determined demeanor hid an impulsive streak – but deliberate.

Sanzo continued, "But maybe I should ask you the same question."

Hakkai swallowed noticeably. Even though a few seconds ago he and Sanzo had been swapping spit, his throat and tongue suddenly felt completely dry.

His baser impulses cried out for him to continue. Who cared why Sanzo was doing this or what it meant? No one was lining up to proposition him, and who would be fool enough to turn down someone as good-looking (and, it turned out, as good a kisser) as Sanzo? Plenty of others had hit on the man with no success, yet he was offering himself to Hakkai with no strings attached.

But Hakkai's higher brain functions screamed out a warning. How would it affect his relationship with the rest of them if he and Sanzo shared a sexual encounter? He was fairly certain that Gojyo, at least, would be jealous, though whether of him for being with Sanzo or of Sanzo for being with him, he wasn't sure. Possibly both. More importantly, how would it affect his day-to-day relationship with Sanzo? Would things be awkward between them?

He touched Sanzo's chin with his hand. "I'm extremely flattered, but I don't want your charity."

Sanzo sat up on top of Hakkai, glaring at him. "What makes you think this is charity?"

Hakkai sighed. "What else could it be?"

Sanzo cleared his throat with a 'tch'. "I thought you'd gotten over feeling sorry for yourself."

Hakkai sat back, propped up on his elbows. "So this isn't a one-time thing?"

"You think I'm in this for a quick pity fuck?" Sanzo asked, incredulously. "You really underestimate yourself, Hakkai." With those words, he leaned over and captured Hakkai's lips once more, probing and delving in a determined but unexpectedly gentle way.

Somehow, this fourth kiss convinced Hakkai of his sincerity. He let himself be pulled back down onto the bed again, with Sanzo grinding his erection against Hakkai's. Heaven only knew why Sanzo wanted him, but he did, and Hakkai had no desire to say no.

It wasn't because he felt he owed him, either; he'd been around Sanzo long enough to know that he didn't expect repayment, especially of that type. If Hakkai didn't want this, he could just say so, and it would be left there. Sanzo might be huffy for a day or two – he wasn't good at keeping his frustrations to himself – but soon things between them would go back to normal, whatever 'normal' was.

Soon Sanzo had returned to unbuttoning Hakkai's pants and pulling them down, along with his underwear. He pulled Hakkai up into a sitting position and knelt on the floor at his feet.

Hakkai stared with disbelief as Sanzo leaned in, wrapped one hand around the base, and licked the sensitive underside of Hakkai's cock. He took the tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it until Hakkai had to brace himself against the pleasure washing over him. He groaned as Sanzo began taking him into his mouth in earnest, the moist heat of Sanzo's tongue, lips and mouth gripping and massaging his erection until he was near climax.

"Sanzo," he said warningly. "If you keep that up—"

He shuddered and came before he could even finish the sentence. Sanzo swallowed without scowling the way Hakkai expected he would. He even licked a few stray drops from the corner of his mouth.

Somehow, Hakkai hadn't pegged him as someone who'd let another man come in his mouth. In fact, he was astonished at how good Sanzo was at this. Hakkai had never been as convinced as Gojyo was that Sanzo was an inexperienced virgin, but Sanzo was steadily destroying his view of him as sexually inhibited. Hakkai had not expected such sensuality to lurk underneath Sanzo's gruff, aloof exterior.

Watching Sanzo lick his lips made Hakkai's heart pound. His heart beat even faster when Sanzo rummaged in his pockets and produced a vial of oil. "Have you ever done this before?" he asked casually, like he was asking about the weather.

"No," Hakkai admitted.

"It shouldn't hurt if you're properly prepared. But maybe you'd rather not do it at all?" he added quizzically.

Hakkai let go of the breath he'd been holding. "It's okay," he said. Once Sanzo had gotten started, he'd figured this was coming. He was okay with it; he trusted Sanzo not to hurt him, just as Sanzo had relied on him not to betray him when Chin Yisou had played mind games with them all. "How do you want me?"

"Turn around," Sanzo said gruffly. "It's easier that way."

Hakkai briefly wondered if this meant that Sanzo didn't want to look him in the face, but he quickly dismissed that thought as unworthy and did as Sanzo had asked of him. He stuffed a pillow under his abdomen, the scar that was a visual reminder of his sins rubbing against the fabric. He was thankful that enough scar tissue had built up that the scar didn't usually hurt, though it felt strange sometimes if anything pulled at his skin.

Sanzo shucked off his remaining clothes while Hakkai positioned himself. Once Hakkai was ready, Sanzo pulled his hips up and circled the spot that was his ultimate goal with his index finger. The oil he used left a slick trail on Hakkai's skin, making Sanzo's fingertip squeak.

Hakkai felt exposed as well as a bit abashed that once the kisses had ended, he had done nothing to bring Sanzo pleasure. Everything had focused on him. But this position left him with no reasonable way of reaching out to Sanzo and returning any of the pleasure Sanzo had provided.

He groaned when Sanzo slid his finger inside. At first it felt impossibly tight, but once the finger slipped past that initial ring of muscle, the pressure eased a bit. Hakkai still wondered what the attraction was, though, as Sanzo slowly pushed in further until his finger was all the way in and he bent the tip, brushing up against Hakkai's prostate.

Hakkai's body twitched from the jolt of pleasure he felt. As Sanzo kept hitting that spot, it felt like his brain was short-circuiting. Hakkai heard lewd moans and a voice chanting "fuck" over and over, which led him to wonder why Sanzo was being so demonstrative until he realized that he was the one moaning and swearing.

As best as he could recall, he'd never moaned and swore during sex before. Maybe being around men for so long, two of whom swore nearly as readily as they drew breath, had lowered his inhibitions. Or maybe it was because this was so much more intense than anything he'd experienced before. Surprisingly, Sanzo hadn't told him to be quiet, which meant he didn't mind. Maybe he even enjoyed hearing Hakkai lose his composure.

He became aware that Sanzo had two fingers inside him now. Hakkai's cock was so stiff it ached. Moisture was dribbling from the slit, and his balls yearned to be touched and caressed.

He hissed and bit his lip when Sanzo bit down at the junction where his neck and shoulder met. Even though it hurt, it felt good.

He pushed back against the invading fingers and panted like a bitch in heat. Sanzo wound his hand around Hakkai's erection and swept his hand downward, using long, slow pulls and quick upstrokes and occasionally moving his hand down and to the side to massage Hakkai's sac while continuing to stretch him with his other hand.

Soon Hakkai felt another finger pressing in, invading him, although by now he welcomed the invasion. He was panting and nearly winded, as he would be if they'd just fought. He wasn't used to this anymore. He didn't remember feeling this wrung out during sex before, even though he had been the one doing things to Kanan. He marveled that recalling what sex with Kanan felt like didn't make his heart ache. Perhaps that wound had finally healed, though he was certain it, too, had left a scar, even if it wasn't readily visible.

He hoped that Sanzo wasn't doing this in an attempt to prove to him that he was ready for another relationship, or that he was desirable, though perhaps that was no odder than the idea that Sanzo might actually desire him, might actually even find him attractive. It certainly put another spin on Sanzo's advocacy in his favor. Had he done it for his own purposes? But surely if that were the case, he wouldn't have arranged it so he would run into Gojyo again and accept his offer to live with him, and surely he wouldn't have waited more than four years to approach him. Sanzo didn't have that kind of patience.

Sanzo removed all three fingers. Hakkai heard the sound of oil being poured and rubbed all over Sanzo's cock and shivered. A slippery hand shot out to hold onto his hip.

"You ready?" Sanzo asked.

"Yes," Hakkai replied. He couldn't help it; now that he knew that Sanzo was about to enter him, the muscles inside him tightened at the idea. He told himself to take cleansing breaths like he had when he practiced meditation with Sanzo back in the temple, before he was finally released.

He nearly cried out when Sanzo began pushing inside him. Sanzo's progress was slow, but steady and insistent. The sensation of being filled was peculiar, but it didn't hurt the way he'd expected it to. By the time Sanzo was seated deep inside him, it actually felt good. It felt even better when Sanzo began moving and snapping his hips, hitting him there over and over again until Hakkai thought he might pass out before he came. No wonder men had engaged in this otherwise seemingly distasteful act for centuries now.

Hakkai was lost in a sea of new sensations. When Sanzo wrapped callused fingers around Hakkai's erection, it felt as if it had just been moments since Sanzo had entered him, but Hakkai knew that was an illusion. Just a few strokes, a few pulls, and a twist, and Hakkai came, semen coating his stomach and dripping onto the bed. He felt Sanzo's cock twitch deep inside him and felt the muscles of Sanzo's body tighten and tense against his back just before the rush of Sanzo's release filled him.

They both collapsed on the bed, Hakkai twisting to the side to avoid the wet spot he'd made. He'd have to clean it up later, after Sanzo had left the room; he didn't expect him to stay and cuddle. Fortunately, it was on the bedspread, not the sheets, so it shouldn't interfere with him getting in the bed and going to sleep. In fact, he felt sleepier than he normally would at this hour.

After lying there for a few minutes, partly to the side of and partly on top of Hakkai, his arm wrapped around Hakkai's waist, Sanzo sat up, groping for tissues he could use to clean himself. He handed some to Hakkai, then reached for his discarded clothing.

"No promises," he said as he began putting his clothes back on.

Hakkai nodded, but wondered what that meant.

Sanzo must have read the question in his eyes. "While it lasts, no one else, either," he continued just before he straightened his robes and walked out the door.

As the door closed, Hakkai fell back on his rumpled bed with a sigh, spent. No commitments, but exclusivity? While Sanzo's remark had surprised him, he could live with that.

/fin/

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