Title: Fallen From Grace

Author: PunkWolf

Email: mori _ recalcitrant @ hotmail . com

Paring: Sanzo/Goku

Rating: NC-17 overall

Warnings: lemons, limes, language, angst, the usual.

Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. I own none of the rights to Minekura's Saiyuki.

Summary: A collection of Sanzo/Goku oneshots inspired by the Three Days Grace album One-X. Vary in length from 5 - 35 pages.

Note: NOT a songfic.

Riot

The moon shone down through the window, casting an ethereal light over the young heretic who slept below. Or... was trying to sleep.

'I'm so sick of everyone taking me for granted,' Goku thought sadly, 'I'm just as good a fighter as any of them, and I'm eighteen years old! I'm not a kid. I'm NOT. Why can't anybody get that?'

Goku sighed and looked up into the pale light of the moon. The night was clear, which meant that the rain could not be blamed for Sanzo's mood this evening. Or, his mood toward Goku, rather. He'd been almost pleasant with Hakkai, and entirely tolerated Gojyo throughout dinner. But Goku, as always was the case, was the exception. Sanzo had whacked him silly with that goddamn fan and thrown some particularly harsh words around as he and Gojyo had become increasingly more inebriated. When Goku had finally retreated into his single room, they had each downed at least eight beers.

'They think they can just beat on me all the time. Because I always let them. Why? Why do I let them? I don't deserve it, I know that. I'm a friggin' pushover when it comes to them. So I guess... if I want them to change... maybe I'll have to change first...'

With those thoughts in mind, Goku finally let sleep consume his being.

~-~-~-~

'Kami, my head is fucking killing me...'

Sanzo did not wake up in a good mood.

'Why did I drink so much last night?' Sanzo shivered. 'Oh, yeah. The voice.'

Goku's voice had been relentlessly prattling on in the back of Sanzo's mind last night all through dinner. He knew the boy didn't even know he was doing it, and he entertained the thought that maybe he had been a bit harsh on his charge. Still, sometimes Goku could be extremely bothersome.

The sounds in his head had not been just any of Goku's little noises. No. Goku had been... Sanzo didn't even know how to describe it. While Goku had been enjoying his meal, the sounds of that enjoyment had been excessively troubling to his keeper. Small whines and delighted moans had echoed through out Sanzo's mind for the duration of their meal. And when Goku had finally cleared his plate, and Sanzo had prayed it was over, the panting began. And the tenting of robe-concealed jeans ensued.

And Sanzo couldn't take it anymore.

Thus began the undue monkey abuse.

Sure, now Sanzo felt the small pangs of guilt he felt whenever he went overboard concerning Goku...but those noises. His charge wasn't supposed to know such noises existed... and Sanzo should not have been as affected by them as he was. He shouldn't be affected by anyone, let alone Goku, in such a manner. It was unacceptable.

So the cause of his distasteful actions, naturally, had to be disciplined.

It had all balanced out in his head... last night... after the ingestion of copious amounts of alcohol.

That was now giving him a splitting headache. His vision was beginning to blur under the intensity of it.

And Sanzo was now sure... that this, too, was all Goku's fault.

~-~-~-~

The four gathered in the dining area for breakfast that morning, Goku being the final member of the party to join them.

"Oi. Monkey-" Gojyo tried to kick off the morning with some saru taunting, only to but cut off by that same saru throwing a very nasty glare in his face.

"Not a monkey. Damn cockroach kappa," Goku growled as he pulled out his chair, "Now shut up before I shove Nyoi-bouu up your ass."

Sanzo turned slightly to glance at his surly charge. Goku face was contorted into the nastiest scowl Sanzo had seen to date, 'Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed. Somebody besides me.'

"Geez, baka saru, chill would'ja?" Gojyo backed off and began to light his first cigarette of the day. Sanzo had already smoked two up in his room.

Breakfast occurred without any incidents. Goku had not made any passes at Gojyo plate and Gojyo had made a point to stay out of the grumpy monkey's way for now. Hakkai seemed worried about the turn of events, along with Hakuryu, who kyu'd sadly from his master's shoulder. Sanzo, on the other hand, chose to absorb the peace that had settled over the Ikkou for once.

He failed.

Miserably.

The silence was more oppressive that anything, especially coming from Goku, and Sanzo briefly wondered if this had anything to do with his actions last night, but his thoughts were interrupted by Goku rising from the table.

"I'm done," was all he offered before he returned to the staircase leading up to the rooms they had rented last night. He returned a few minutes later fully dressed and pack slung over his shoulder. He cast and expectant look at Jeep who immediately left Hakkai's shoulder to gracefully swoop out the door. The slight pop signaling his transformation followed shortly thereafter. Goku was out the door before any questions could be asked.

"I suppose we should be going," Hakkai hinted softly. It was obvious that Goku's attitude troubled him greatly.

Gojyo made a noise that resembled agreement before himself rising and retreating upstairs to gather his things. Sanzo and Hakkai were not far behind.

Around an hour into the day's car ride, Gojyo became restless. Sanzo could tell by the flurries of aggravated fidgeting that this was the case. Soon, the kappa's shifting really began to test his already thin patience. But it was not him who reprimanded the cockroach this time.

"Would you cut it out already?!" Goku roared from behind Sanzo. Sanzo turned just enough to regard his charge while Hakkai glanced back via the rearview mirror. Gojyo looked to be in a state of total shock.

Goku had sounded jarringly like Sanzo... almost.

"Whoa, what bee was unlucky enough to fly up your ass, monkey?"

Thump.

"OW!" Gojyo reeled, clutching his stomach in pain after the violent blow Goku had dealt him. It had been a solid, not-at-all-playful fist to the gut. Goku wasn't messing around.

The offended young man leaned in close to his red haired antagonist, "I. Am NOT. A monkey. Got it?" He growled as he summoned Nyoi-bou into his open palm. Gojyo nodded his head slowly, eyes wide and arms pulled close to his tall frame.

Goku fell back into his seat, allowing Nyoi-bou to lean on his shoulder in front of him. He draped his arms lazily over the red pole before allowing his eyes to refocus on the distant horizon.

At lunch, Hakkai pulled Goku aside. And Sanzo eavesdropped.

"Goku. That wasn't very nice... what you did to Gojyo before," Sanzo heard Hakkai's breathing catch, and could only assume the look he had received from his pupil, "I mean..."

"No, Hakkai, I know what you mean. You don't have to spell it out for me. I can actually grasp some things on my own. I'm not stupid despite what Gojyo always says," Goku's voice was crisp and sterile, with none of the buoyancy it normally contained, "I get that for once, I choose not to go easy on Gojyo, and I'm getting slapped on the hand like a little kid. If he can't take it, he shouldn't dish it out."

Sanzo cringed inwardly. That was a reasonable sentiment. The monkey wasn't supposed to be reasonable. He was irrational, exuberant and excitable. Not reasonable.

"But Goku..." Hakkai continued, "If something's bothering you, bullying Gojyo is not the way to solve things."

"I like how you're standing up for Gojyo, Hakkai. That's a real stand up thing to do. You're a real stand up kinda guy," sarcasm was dripping from Goku's words, "Gojyo's lucky to have such a great friend willing to stick up for him when the baka saru kicks his kappa ass," a look of mock shock and sudden realization dawned on Goku's featured, "Hey, you know what? Gojyo picked on me all the time! Where were you then, Hakkai? No, no. I know exactly where you were. You were up front enjoying the normalcy of it all. Just because it's normal does not mean its fun for all those involved. Now, if you'll excuse me, Hakkai, I'd like it if you kept your hypocritical ass outta my face, because you're not better than me and I don't need to take this from you, or anyone." Goku stomped away, leaving a baffled healer in his wake.

Sanzo, too, was shaken by his charge's attitude. Normalcy? Did Goku even know what that word meant?

Lunch was spent in an uncomfortable silence.

~-~-~-~

"Give us the sutra, Genjyo Sanzo!"

'Sigh.'

"Yeah, we just kicked the crap outta your friends yesterday, but today we'd rather just hand it over all nice like," Gojyo sneered, summoning his weapon and adopting a battle stance. Goku did likewise, minus his usual battle cries, a fierce determination glistening in his golden eyes. Sanzo forgot to raise his gun looking into Goku's eyes. Said charge was currently glaring heatedly at the approaching demons, Nyoi-bou twirling in one hand.

Now, typically, battles were launched by Sanzo killing off the first youkai with a well-aimed shot of the banishing gun. Today, however, Goku waited for no tradition. The heretic charged headlong into battle before Sanzo even thought about taking out the first youkai in range. And in the blink of an eye, Goku was on top of the raiding party, bashing skulls and impaling bodies with the blunt ends of Nyoi-bou swinging in graceful arcs of red and gold. His motions were a blur among his various acrobatic flips and spins, deftly avoiding the clumsy blows of his attackers and landing every hit he attempted.

With morbid fluidity, Goku dispatched the entire threat, mouth never shifting out of a grim line.

Goku, who lived for food, Sanzo and fighting, to whom fighting was always a game, took out thirty full grown demons in less than five minutes, not even cracking a smirk once.

Goku's march back to his Jeep-bound companions was grisly. His hair and clothes were splattered with blood, none of which was his own and it didn't faze him. In fact, it looked as if he didn't even notice it. His eyes were cold, but not dull. On the contrary, they were burning with life.

"Goku..." Hakkai hesitated.

"Wasn't enough," Goku grunted as he swung himself back into the Jeep, "Don't know why they even bother."

"Shit, Goku, you just took care of all of 'em. Without us. You must've been busting your ass out there!" Gojyo exclaimed.

Sanzo had the sneaking suspicion that that wasn't the case. The way Goku had moved had seemed too easy. And Goku hadn't even broken a sweat. No, his charge had barely even tried out there. It made Sanzo wonder just how strong Goku had actually become. And in some dark corner of his mind... it frightened him.

Goku snapped out of whatever reverie he had been in to turn to Hakkai, "We goin' or what?"

And so they drove off, leaving a litter of fresh youkai corpses behind them.

They reached and inn that night, but only two rooms were available. Sanzo was deemed only viable option for rooming with Goku since he had been the only one Goku hadn't flown off the handle with that day.

Dinner was eerily silent, because Goku didn't even join them.

Sanzo now admitted, that maybe he was a little worried. Maybe.

~-~-~-~

In the end, Goku flew off the handle many times, at each of them at one time or another. For a week and a half, everyone was on edge around the rebelling youth. And he seemed to want nothing but to either avoid them or dominate them.

It was painfully obvious just how out matched they were with Goku. And they hadn't even known it until he had decided it was time for it to be known. Goku wasn't supposed to be an enigma. He just wasn't.

Yet Sanzo had woken up, and it took him a few minutes before he realized the source of his unease.

He couldn't hear Goku's voice.

The boy's presence was still there, as always, in the back of his mind. But the boy wasn't speaking to him. Sanzo had been shunned.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

In a flash, Sanzo was up and out of his room and barreling down the hallway towards Goku's single room.

Without knocking, Sanzo barged in and pulled back the hammer on his revolver, entirely expecting Goku to be drowsing, sprawled all over the bed in a mess of sheets.

But Goku wasn't in bed at all. He was seated upon the window sill, gazing out at the moonlit village, devoid of life at this late hour. The glow from the celestial body cast Goku in a blue glow, and accented his features with exaggerated shadows in all the right places to make him look... utterly demonic.

And for the first time, it really hit Sanzo.

Goku was a demon.

A demon with all the power of a God.

Not a human, despite the appearance his limiter gave. He was another being all together. A force of nature, who wanted, no, needed to be recognized as such.

He was, without a doubt, the strongest member of the group, yet until he asserted himself as such, he was the group rag doll. Used, plenty, and abused just as often.

Amazingly enough, Goku didn't seem to notice Sanzo's intrusion. He remained staring out the window until Sanzo dropped his gun to the floor with a thunderous thud. It was then that Goku's head snapped in Sanzo's direction, surprise etched all over his features. Features that had, lately, taken to looking all of Goku's five hundred and eighteen years.

"What do you want?" Goku hissed into the darkness between him and the intruder.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sanzo growled, not at all planning to take any shit from his unruly charge.

"What makes you think there's something wrong, Sanzo-sama?" Oh. No. He. Did. Not.

"You've been a total prick for the last two weeks; now tell me what the fuck is wrong with you."

"Maybe this is just who I am now, huh? Maybe Goku didn't like being the brat that everyone pushed around, hmmm? Did that ever occur to you? I think maybe there's something wrong with you, not me."

Sanzo growled, "There's nothing wrong with me. But there is something fucking screwed up about you!"

"What makes you say that?"

"You stopped babbling. You haven't stopped in the seven years since I met you. Why stop now?"

"What are you talking about?" Goku scowled.

Sanzo sighed and let his head rest upon his palm. Of course Goku wouldn't know what he was talking about. Sanzo didn't exactly brag about hearing saru voices in his head. He sighed again, "Look, whatever I did to get your panties in a bunch, sorry. I'm sorry ok? Now will you stop being such a tart?"

"Che," Goku turned back to the window, "You don't even know what's wrong, and yet you expect your little mock apology to make everything all better? Not a chance in hell. I don't even see why it bothers you so much. It's not like any of you liked me before, is it? What does me sticking up for myself have to do with you guys? Just stay outta my way and everything'll be peachy."

"You little shit..." Sanzo muttered, but was internally pondering Goku's words. Why did it matter to him that Goku's toughened up a bit? If Goku wanted to assert himself, there really was nothing Sanzo could do to stop it. But why did that bother him so much? Sanzo stormed out of Goku's room without another word.

And the voice was still absent.

~-~-~-~

The next night, Sanzo woke up in a cold sweat.

'What the hell was that dream all about?'

Sanzo had dreamt of none other than Seiten Taisei, and while the details escaped him, he retained one clear element; in the dream, Seiten Taisei had killed him.

There was no way this dream related to real life in anyway, was there? Goku would never kill Sanzo... would he? 'Tch. I wouldn't put it past him the way he's been acting lately.' Sanzo paused to consider this. And his thoughts worried him.

Breakfast couldn't come soon enough, and today, Goku joined them. He ate his normal helpings but refused to acknowledge Gojyo and his taunting. It seemed as if he had something heavy upon his mind, instead of the blind anger he'd been exhibiting before.

"Goku..." Hakkai whispered to their youngest... er... oldest member, "What's troubling you?"

"Nothing," Goku replied, voice completely neutral. He continued to pick at what was left of his breakfast. Eventually, while Hakkai was examining the map and Gojyo and Sanzo were savoring after-breakfast smokes, Goku retrieved his pack and started out the door. Jeep left Hakkai's shoulder in favor of Goku's armored one.

"Jeep appears to be the only one of us capable of getting close to Goku as of late," Hakkai observed.

"Yeah. The dragon's taken a strange liking to the punk for some reason," Gojyo agreed.

Sanzo didn't offer input as he folded his paper and stalked back upstairs to get his own pack and join Goku outside.

~-~-~-~

"Kougaiji," Sanzo growled at their latest roadblock.

But this time, the Kougaiji-tachi hadn't come alone. They had a small army of minions with them as well.

"Baldy-Saanzo!" Lirin bellowed from beside Yaone. The apothecary's face was grim, and so was that of Kougaiji. Dokugakuji looked to be in better spirits than his counterparts, if only a little. His smile was a sad one.

"It looks like they mean business this time, eh monkey?" Gojyo drawled, but turned to find the seat next to him vacant, "Hey? Where'd he-"

"Kougaiji-sama!" Yaone's shriek drew the party's attention.

Kougaiji was suddenly crumpled against a nearby tree, clutching his abdomen and glaring heatedly at the heretic looming over him.

"You stupid monkey-head!" Lirin seethed, "Stop bullying onii-chan!"

Dokugakuji gestured to the army behind them, and all at once, the masses of youkai charged forward.

Goku returned his attention to Kougaiji and the battle began.

Sanzo didn't even bother with Lirin today; he ignored her while taking out youkai after youkai that approached him. He monitored his companions as they fought around him- Hakkai facing off with Yaone, Gojyo dueling his brother, and Goku... Goku was darting all over the place flitting from fighting one on one with Kougaiji to slaughtering the Prince's weak subordinates. And Kougaiji didn't look pleased with only garnering half of his opponent's attention. Sanzo would catch a glimpse of his charge storming past every once and a awhile, but one incident made him do a double take and he felt Lirin collide with his thigh.

Sanzo was almost positive he'd seen Seiten Taisei sail past, in place of Goku. But when is eyes landed on his charge, it was most defiantly Goku who was punching Kougaiji soundly in the gut.

With a piercing battle cry, Goku sailed overhead, plowing through another mass of demonic assassins.

Kougaiji didn't like the situation. Goku might as well have been ignoring him. No one took the Demon Prince Kougaiji for granted. And since the monkey was taking it upon himself to overlook the prince, Kougaiji would just have to regain the runt's attention, and he knew the perfect way to do it.

Before Sanzo knew what hit him, he was laying on the ground with Kougaiji straddling his waist, clawed hand raised and poised to attack. He cursed silently at his own inattentiveness before roughly shoving the redhead off him. Kougaiji didn't waste a second before launching a second attack, but the strikes seemed half assed, and more showy than anything, and then Sanzo realized... that Kougaiji wasn't serious about battling him... he just wanted Goku to pay attention to him. Sanzo was being used to get at the monkey!

But it didn't seem to be working, as a matter of fact, he'd seen Goku hauling ass all around them, picking of demon after demon, yet the stupid monkey didn't even move to get Kougaiji off Sanzo's back. And then Sanzo froze.

There. He thought he'd seen it again!

But once again, it was Goku, not Seiten Taisei that barreled through another wall of attackers with a scratchy roar.

Sanzo was relieved for one second before he felt claws delve into his navel.

He stopped and looked over at Kougaiji who looked equally surprised at the turn of events. Sanzo cursed himself again for allowing himself to get distracted and wounded by an enemy who wasn't even trying to win.

He fell to his knees. The wound was deep and had had a driving force behind it that had been completely secure in the priest's ability to dodge it. Yet that priest had been distracted by...

"Teme!!!!" Both Sanzo and Kougaiji were ripped out of their stupor by Goku's roar. Kougaiji swerved to the side and spun around, giving Sanzo and himself a clear view of the attacking saru. Sanzo gasped.

He wasn't imagining it this time. That really was Seiten Taisei rushing toward them.

Or at least, there was a shadow of Seiten Taisei hovering about Goku. It was like, a phantom overlay making Goku's hair look long and billowing as he ran, and long ear peak out from the mop of chocolate brown. But if you looked directly at the sight, the apparition faded.

Kougaiji grunted in pain as Goku's pole collided brutally with his mid-section. The last thing Sanzo saw was Goku's blazing eyes that weren't entirely his own, before passing out from blood loss.

~-~-~-~

Sanzo woke sweating once again, but for a completely different reason than before.

His head was swimming and it took him a moment to recall just what had brought him to this bed.

"Fuck." He was not happy with his state at the moment. He hadn't woken up with a hard-on since he was fifteen.

This dream, just like the last, was hazy and spotty, but unlike the last dream, Sanzo could recall every thing he had felt. And his last dream was most defiantly not a wet one.

He remembered burning. That's how it had started. Burning... and then fear. But soon, both had been replaced by a different kind of burning, one he had not minded in the least. It was this burning that had resulted in the raging hard-on he now sported.

Then came the snapshots.

They hadn't been snapshots in the dream, but when he tried to remember, snapshots were all that he got.

Skin.

Sheets.

His own hands brushing against a smooth torso.

His hands trailing between corded thighs.

A ruddy cock.

His hand wrapped around said cock.

An arching back.

Fountains of cum.

A bottle.

The stretching.

The sight of his erection entering the prepared body.

Taut skin rippling under his touch.

Hands grasping at soiled bedclothes.

Lovebites on a bronzed neck.

And gold.

Lots of gold.

Gold eyes, half-lidded as their owner panted beneath him.

Gold eyes shining like two burning suns as Goku climaxed.

His charge's climax triggering his own.

"Damn it," Sanzo hissed. For once, he was entirely ashamed to admit that this was his charge's fault in some way shape or form.

Whatever. He had to do something to get rid of his hard-on, and right now, with those snapshots racing through his mind, it looked like the only option was to take matters into his own hand.

~-~-~-~

A few hours later, when the sun had just begun to rise, Sanzo heard footsteps approaching his door. He tensed for the person he was sure it would be, not entirely ready to face him after the dream he'd just had and jacked off to.

A few steps later, the visitor gently swung open the door. But to Sanzo's surprise, which he of course did no let reach his features, it was not Goku, but Hakkai who called upon him this early.

"What do you want?" Sanzo grumbled, not willing to admit he was almost disappointed.

"Oh? You're awake? It's about time."

"Huh? How long have I been out?"

"Just about 48 hours. But still, we haven't had any substantial injuries in awhile. We're not used to waiting around or not moving on for this long."

"What happened?"

"Kougaiji accidentally took a chunk out of you during our last battle. You're lucky Goku got to you before the assassins did."

"How am I lucky? I thought that brat was gonna kill me!"

"Oh? Why?"

"I don't know... but he looked like... Seiten Taisei as he ran towards us. I could have sworn..."

"Well he most defiantly did not transform. I know that."

"Where is he now?"

"Probably asleep in his room. Would you like me to go get him for you?"

Sanzo didn't answer right away, but eventually, "Yeah."

Hakkai left and Sanzo spent a few minutes willing his mind completely blank. But Hakkai returned, without Goku.

"Ahaha. I'm sorry. I tried to wake him, telling him you'd finally woken up... but..."

"He doesn't want to see me?"

"No... he just muttered something about interrupting his sleep and that he'll see the 'stupid monk' later."

Sanzo looked away, 'I probably deserve that,' he thought.

Sanzo thought back. There had never been a time after Sanzo was mortally injured that he hadn't woken up to Goku at his bedside. It felt...weird.

"Would you like company?" Hakkai asked, when Sanzo didn't say anything more.

"I'm fine."

Hakkai bowed slightly, "I'll send Goku in when he wakes up." And the healer was gone.

Sanzo sighed. When had things gotten so complicated?

~-~-~-~

Later that morning, Sanzo heard footsteps approaching once more. They were quicker than the one from earlier, so Sanzo supposed that it really was Goku this time.

They had almost reached his door when they abruptly stopped. A few moments later, they began again, but now they were retreating.

Sanzo was thoroughly baffled.

It didn't take long for yet another round of footsteps to reach his ears, but they were the ones from the early morning.

Hakkai entered.

"Ah... Sanzo?"

"He didn't come in."

"Yes, he told me that..."

"Well? Why not? I've been unconscious for two goddamn days, so I haven't done something to piss him off already, have I?"

"He said... it smells funny," Hakkai took a quick glance around the room.

"Like how?"

"Ah... um... he said your room smells like sex."

"What?!"

"Actually, he said your room smells like Gojyo does after coming back from a woman's house, but I read between the lines."

"That's not possible."

"That's what I was thinking. And I don't smell anything peculiar."

Sanzo was about to reinforce this when a thought struck him, 'No... he could have smelled that could he?'

"Sanzo?"

"Eh?"

"Do you think you're well enough to continue? I'm afraid we're all getting rather fidgety."

"Fine," Sanzo harrumphed before attempting to haul himself out of bed.

Hakkai had already left when Sanzo collapsed.

"Damn," He was really weak.

Ten minutes later Sanzo heard footsteps returning but was to tired to try and decipher who they belonged to. He had used the last of his strength to haul himself over to his bed and was now leaning against it, unable to climb back in.

The door burst open.

"Sanzo? What the hell is taking you-"

It was Goku. He glanced around the room once before his eyes finally found the priest on the floor. And for a split second, he looked genuinely worried. It was covered quickly in a mask Sanzo never thought he'd see his charge bearing.

"What are you doing down there?"

"What does it look like monkey?"

Goku seemed to deem Sanzo not worthy of his time, "Well, if you don't need help, I'll just go back out-"

"Goku," Sanzo growled from his vantage point on the cold floor.

"Hai?"

"I... I don't think..."

Goku looked slightly confused as Sanzo trailed off, but the truth seemed to dawn on his soon enough, "Oh? Can't Sanzo-sama stand up?"

"I can too, bakazaru!" Sanzo harrumphed, sending a steely glare back at his rebellious charge.

"Go on then," Goku replied, turning to face Sanzo completely, crossing wiry arms over his chest.

Sanzo cursed himself, but wasted no time in throwing all his strength into righting himself. And slowly but surely, the monk rose to him feet.

"I told you, baka. I can stand fine," Sanzo barked and he began to make his way over to the door. "Now let's go-" But Sanzo trailed off again as he felt his legs give out once more. He saw the ground rushing to meet his face and he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact.

It never came.

He became aware of his surrounding once more when he cracked gaze. A firm force was bracing him on his right side and a sinewy arm was wrapped around him shoulder.

"Go-"

"What's wrong with you?" Goku hissed, cutting his master off. But the words lacked the blatant bite they'd contained the past few weeks. Goku hoisted Sanzo back into bed before retreating out the door. In the threshold, he paused and partially turned to face the priest. "I'll go tell Hakkai and Gojyo you aren't ready to travel." And with that, he was gone.

"Shit..." Sanzo groaned. His hard-on was back.

~-~-~-~

It was clear. No fuzziness. No snapshots.

A fire was roaring in the fireplace. Winter at Chang'An.

Sanzo was seated in front of the fire with a very small Goku curled in his lap, shivering after just having come inside from romping in the snow with a visiting Gojyo. Sanzo was fairly sure that his charge was asleep, for his breathing was deep and even, though a tremor would pass though from time to time.

Sanzo looked down at the sleeping teen. Small for his age, but stronger than even the toughest youkai Sanzo had encountered. Also rapidly approaching adulthood. At sixteen, Goku may still be compact and petite, but he was quickly gaining the maturity he'd lacked four years ago when Sanzo freed him from the craggy prison that was Mt. Gogyo. Soon, Sanzo wouldn't be able to look at Goku, call him a kid and actually believe it.

Then, before Sanzo's eyes, Goku began to grow, and the room melted away from an alcove at the temple to a bedroom in a generic inn. Goku was still curled upon his lap, but he was not the child that had lounged there a moment ago. No, this Goku was very much the eighteen tear old Sanzo was now so familiar with... or had thought he was familiar with. He noticed that Goku's body was not so petite anymore, as it was lithe. Still compact for his age, but perhaps this was an effect of Seiten Taisei, smaller equaling greater agility and speed. Sanzo didn't mind at all that he had become this older Goku's pillow. The shivering had ceased, and now the teen lay peacefully dozing in his keeper's lap.

But what bothered Sanzo, was the fact that he didn't mind. He was the almighty Sanzo. The drinking, smoking, gambling priest that if you touched, you died.

Except Goku.

It had always been 'except Goku'.

But outside this, which had to be a dream, Goku no longer allowed Sanzo to touch him. He had become the unreachable wall Sanzo had once considered himself to be. Until Goku had wriggled into his life.

Sanzo's hands lifted from where they had lain dormant at his sides to gently rest upon the sleeping heretic's back. Goku was warm. And Sanzo relished in the moment where he didn't have to worry about anything except the feeling of Goku trusting him and opening to him as the teen hadn't done in weeks.

As Goku breathed, Sanzo watched. This had to be a dream, so Sanzo didn't have to worry about whatever would happen should Goku wake up. Sanzo searched the brunet's features for any sign of the childhood boyness and found none. Goku may be small and at times bratty, but the young man was no longer the pre-teen Sanzo had released. It was painfully obvious now. Goku had legitimate thoughts, feeling and desires. He was capable of understanding what would have made his head spin six years ago. And Sanzo had been watching, but not paying attention. Until recently, he had forever seen Goku as the troublesome bottomless pit he'd been so long ago. He had missed so much while walking around in that daze. And Goku was tired of being ignored. Tired of being misunderstood and under appreciated.

Sanzo tried his hardest to imagine the Ikkou, no, his life without Goku there. He couldn't. Goku had been there for too long. Longer than Hakkai. Longer than Gojyo. And in a few years, longer than Koumyou.

The thought made Sanzo heart clench. Goku would never be more important that Koumyou, would he? No one could ever rival what his master meant to him. Right?

But Koumyou had left a hole when he died. A gaping hole that, over the four years Sanzo was alone, grew. It had grown larger with every attempt at his life and virginity. His distrust of anyone and everyone, the roots ran deep and eventually found a solid footing in his frozen over heart. A wall was built to protect the hole that was no so familiar to him. To guard the only stability Sanzo had found since his master's death.

His inability to open up and trust had kept him alive... and kept him sane.

Until Goku burst into his life like a time bomb.

Now that Sanzo looked back on it, he might truly have become an empty-shell if Goku hadn't come along and forced his life to change course. Whether he like it or not, for those couple years, until around the time they'd run across Hakkai and the cockroach, Sanzo wasn't living for himself. He couldn't. Goku was his charge, and like it or not, Sanzo had fallen into the role of guardian surprisingly easy.

Now, Goku didn't need his guidance or protective shield from the world that wished him scorn. Goku could fight his own battles, both emotional and physical. Sanzo was finally free to live the Muichimotsu as his master had taught him. As he had for those four years.

But he couldn't. The hole had been filled.

Goku had smashed down the wall and filled his empty space as he never seemed to be able to fill his stomach.

Sanzo's eyes refocused on his charge. Since when had he been able to think this... objectively, about Goku? It didn't matter. He knew deep down that everything that had just occurred to him was true. He had to...

Suddenly, he felt his surroundings stir, but not like before. Instinctively, Sanzo knew he was waking up. And he panicked. He couldn't wake up! He'd forget everything he'd just realized. He'd lose the first feeling of true completeness he'd had in so long. He had to remember. He had to remember and go to Goku. He had to go to Goku and apologize. He had to apologize to Goku for not seeing him when he'd been right there the whole time. For being in such denial that he couldn't even think straight outside of his dreams. For neglecting Goku. He'd been caring for a brat all this time, when he had in his care a young man. A young man that he couldn't even fathom living without anymore. A young man that he'd pushed away in his negligence.

White light engulfed the sparse room just as Goku began to stir.

~-~-~-~

No cold sweat. No sweat at all in fact.

And he remembered. Not just snapshots or a vague fuzziness. No. It was clear. Everything he thought... everything he felt.

But this wasn't the dream, and now... the feelings scared Sanzo. They were so unknown, unfamiliar, that they almost seemed dangerous. He reasoned that this was because they threatened the illusion he'd spent six years thriving upon. But he remembered. It had felt good, and he hadn't felt empty for the first time in forever. The feeling was gone now, but so was the emptiness. All that remained was a raw need to redeem what his waking had robbed him of. He needed... to find Goku.

Sanzo burst from the bed in a flurry of sheets, blind to everything but his inner awareness, an awareness that always knew where Goku was. It had found Goku that night with Homura, and Sanzo knew that it'd find him wherever he was now. He was lucky that he had regained most of his strength, and that the only abnormality of his sudden movement was a slight dizziness. Soon he was out the door, storming past a startled Hakkai and Gojyo.

Gojyo and Hakkai had just been returning from hustling a few men in poker when Sanzo barreled out from his room to the right of them. Not only had they expected the monk to be out until next morning, but he was very... loud in his departure. It seemed Sanzo was feeling better.

"Sanzo..." Hakkai tried as their priest companion swept past them, paying them no mind.

"Oi! Baldy!" Gojyo called, and the insult was what jerked Sanzo's attention to the pair.

"What?" Sanzo snapped, just wanting to find Goku so he could sort all this out.

"Geez, chill. Just wondering if you're sure you should be up..."

Sanzo rolled his eyes and huffed, "I don't have time for morons," he sneered before making to continue down the hall.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai called once again. Sanzo wheeled around, impatience burning in his violet eyes. Hakkai decided it would be wise to make this quick, "You wouldn't be... looking for Goku would you?"

Sanzo quirked and eyebrow. "What if I am?"

"Are you sure you should be up?" Hakkai tried to redirect the conversation, but failed.

"I'm fine, dammit. So what if I'm looking for the monkey?"

"He... went outside," Hakkai hesitated, and right on cue, a crash of thunder roared from outside.

"In this weather?" Sanzo asked, not really believing Goku was that stupid.

Hakkai nodded, "He left just after the rain began a few hours ago."

Sanzo turned tail and continued his march toward the stairs muttering about "brainless bakazarus".

The rain outside almost made Sanzo reconsider following his charge, but the dire need that still throbbed within his chest pushed him on. When he reached the road that lead out of town, he paused, and found himself clutching his chest. When trail met forest, he was at a loss. His instincts that had always alerted him to Goku were suddenly nonexistent. And voice was still absent.

Trudging on anyway, Sanzo began to grumble. Damn the monkey for making him this way. Damn the brat to hell for forcing Sanzo to face things he never wanted to face.

Around 100 yards into the forest, Sanzo felt an unwelcome presence appear behind him. Whirling about and drawing his gun, Sanzo found himself face to face with a disgruntled Goku.

Realizing he was still grasping his chest, Sanzo lowered his hand before narrowing his eyes at the heretic before him. He was about to reprimand the errant brat when Goku cut him off.

"Shut up!"

Sanzo was confused, "What the hell are you talking about, baka, I didn't even say anything."

"Don't lie. I hear you and it's bugging the crap outta me!"

"You're going insane monkey," Sanzo growled.

"I am not. You've been callin' me for three days and I'm sick of it. Shuddup will ya!"

Sanzo froze up. This all seemed very familiar, "What am I saying then?" He asked, trying his hardest not to sound curious.

"You're just goin' 'Goooku...' over and over. What's wrong with you?" Sanzo looked taken aback. He was sure of it, this was almost the exact same situation that had led to him rescuing Goku before. But what was up with this? Sanzo never need or accepted protection or the thought of being rescued.

Sanzo's confusion must have been reflected upon his face, for Goku's scowl deepened, "Why do you look like th-" Goku paused mid-sentence, a look of recollection crossing his features, "Whoa. This's happened before... but I was you and you were me!" Sanzo was disgusted by the fact that he understood that.

"Yeah," Sanzo murmured, wondering exactly how much Goku remembered.

"But... but I only was callin' after the bird... and I was... what's going on Sanzo?"

Sanzo huffed and willed his heart to freeze over, if just for mow. Goku looked genuinely confused and worried. He was making connections that Sanzo didn't even want to make for himself. He knew exactly what it meant if he had been calling for Goku... and to his horror, it looked like Goku did as well. Sanzo turned and began to walk away. Maybe looking for Goku hadn't been such a good idea. This was hitting dangerously close to home, "Nothing. I wasn't calling anybody."

He could feel Goku's scowl even if he wasn't facing the teen. The next thing he knew, he was pinned to a tree facing a very agitated monkey.

"That's bullshit Sanzo. I heard ya. Now, why? What's wrong with you?"

"What makes you think anything's wrong, monkey?" Sanzo spat.

"Because I was only callin' when I realized how lonely I was up in that cave. After... after... the bird... After nothing happening for a real long time, that tore me apart. I know something's gotta be real wrong with you to make you call out like this."

Sanzo hmphed and looked away without responding.

What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to tell Goku about his dreams? About Seiten Taisei? About his unwilling soul searching? About how the feeling of Goku's taught body pressed against him was putting very unholy thoughts in his head?

Sanzo shoved forward in an attempt to dislodge his charge, but Goku resisted, pressing even harder against the monk. None of it did anything to alleviate the growing pressure in his groin... a pressure that was fast solidifying.

Sanzo growled.

Goku growled back, and proved he was much more adept at it. Goku sounded much more natural and wild. The sound heightened his increasing arousal until it became painfully obvious... to more than one of them.

Goku's eyes widened at the new bulk pressing against his abdomen. He looked down. When the golden gaze left Sanzo face, the priest allowed his head to fall back against the tree in embarrassment and building desire.

A nearly inaudible groan escaped his throat when Goku pulled back a bit to find the source of the hardness he found himself in contact with.

Now, Sanzo had been right about one thing; Goku was maturing. And he was now more than mature enough to realize an erection when he saw it. Being eighteen, he'd had more than a few himself. He'd also known that guys could get hard-ons for one another, having practically grown up in an all male temple. He's just never really seen himself in a sexual light, let alone with another guy. Let alone with Sanzo. Any previous stirrings he'd had had been purely hormonal, and he'd become proficient at ignoring them.

But this wasn't his arousal he was dealing with. It was Sanzo's.

"Sanzo?"

"What?" Sanzo huffed, praying Goku had no idea what was going on.

"Why the hell do you have a hard-on?" 'Shit...'

When in doubt, draw attention away from yourself, "How the hell do you know what a hard on is, bakazaru?"

Goku looked up at him and his golden eyes narrowed. He regained his firm hold on the monk, "I'm fucking eighteen years old, Sanzo. I think I know what that bits for," Gold narrowed further, "And you're avoiding the question. Why the hell are you hard?" Sanzo turned his head to the side as if to force the pointed stare to glance off of him, but to no avail. The barest hints of color rose in his cheeks. Gold eyes widened once again, "Are you hard... because of me?" It took all of Sanzo's will power not to let his blush deepen. He didn't respond.

Goku gave are hard jerk to Sanzo's robes and brought the monk's gaze back to him. After a heated staring contest between two unique sets of eyes, Sanzo caved first. His gaze fell and he allowed his mask to drop and embarrassment flooded his features.

Goku gaped, "You are?!"

Sanzo graced him with a faint grumble that he left Goku to interpret however he saw fit. Sanzo knew what it meant. Goku could just figure it out, goddamn it.

Goku let go of Sanzo's robes and stepped back, bewilderment etched clearly upon his youthful face, "I don't believe it," there was a waver of laughter in his voice, "All these years I just assumed Gojyo was right and that you were as sexual as a rock! You've never seemed interested in guys or girls! But this..." Goku gestured in Sanzo's groin region, "This is defiantly screaming otherwise."

Sanzo grumbled again and straightened from where he had remained leaning against the tree. He still couldn't bring himself to speak. This situation was not only bruising his pride, no, it was stomping on it, shooting it and smashing it with Nyoi-bou. Tearing it to fucking pieces. Sanzo didn't even know if he'd be able to look Goku in the eye after this.

And Goku wasn't helping. The damn saru was acting... well, like Gojyo.

Sanzo folded his hands into his robes and began to walk back toward town. It was at this time he realized it was still raining, and this only served to further dampen his mood. He was halted by Goku's small voice behind him.

"Sanzo?"

Sanzo stopped, but didn't turn around. Whatever biting remark Goku was about to throw at him, he didn't want his charge to see him this low.

"Sanzo... why were you being such a jackass awhile back?" Sanzo blinked. This had not been what he expected. His eyes, though out of the view of his charge, narrowed. He was an asshole a lot of the time, when was Goku referring, too? Oh. Oh!

Sanzo thought back to just before Goku had gained this unbecoming backbone. The last time he'd had a hangover, and the first night he'd gotten a boner for his charge. Like hell he was going to tell Goku that this had happened before! Better to play dumb, "What are you talking about?"

Another scowl, "Fine, Sanzo. Allow me to play along," Goku mocked with a slight bow, "Weeks ago, when you and Gojyo were drink yourselves stupid. I hadn't even done anything wrong and you were a complete bastard. Why?"

"Because you were an annoying brat, that's why," Sanzo lied.

"Yeah right," Goku hissed, calling Sanzo's bluff like an expert.

Sanzo sighed, really wishing this topic was somewhere, anywhere else. Preferably far, far away, "I've been having dreams," Sanzo relinquished, hoping to subtly draw the topic away from his arousal once again. Or any topic that might relate to the hard-on that just would not go away.

"Dreams?" Goku repeated, taking a few steps closer to his guardian.

"That's what I said."

"What kind of dreams?" Sanzo turned his head when he heard Goku's voice, much closer this time. The heretic was just two feet behind him now.

"That's none of your goddamn business, saru."

"I think..." Goku began as he maneuvered so that he was now in front of Sanzo, "That it is my business... especially because I think I might be a part of these dreams," Goku's eyes were hard and serious, a look Sanzo didn't see on his charge often.

"Don't flatter yourself, monkey," Sanzo mustered up his best glare to bore into his all-too-observant charge.

"Oh, yeah?" Goku challenged, leaning forward slightly, "Then tell me I'm not."

Sanzo growled, but couldn't bring himself to lie to this bolder version of Goku. He tore away from Goku's accusing stare once again. In his peripheral vision, he saw Goku lean back with a smirk. But slowly, the smirk faded from mocking lips.

"Is... this what was bothering you, Sanzo?"

"Ch'."

Both were silent for a few long minutes before Sanzo began to tune Goku out, and focused his senses upon the numbing feeling the rain had induced, chilling him to the bone. He began to walk away once more.

"Sanzo?"

"I'm cold, baka. I'm going back to the inn," he kept walking, and to his surprise, Goku didn't follow him. Slowing, he turned to look back.

Goku was standing with his back to him, face upturned and being battered by the falling rain. The cool water rolled off the smooth planes of Goku's face, cascading down his sinewy neck, getting lost in the damp fabric of Goku's tunic. Sanzo was almost surprised that his doused hard-on didn't return at the sight. Instead, he was entirely surprised to feeling an unfamiliar tightening in his chest. Goku looked, stunning. Like a totally different being.

Goku turned when Sanzo stopped walking away, to be met with a fascinated purple stare. Sanzo was blatantly staring at him and it was extremely unnerving. One of the oddest, and freakiest, things about it was how... unguarded, Sanzo looked. Almost vulnerable.

The next thing Goku knew, Sanzo was approaching him, shining blond muted by the dismal grey of rain. In no time at all Sanzo was almost flush against a very anxious Goku. Two heart beats later, Goku lips were against Sanzo's in a slow, deliberate kiss.

The stirring Goku felt now was much different than when his hormones ran rampant. He... kinda liked the feeling of Sanzo like this.

But despite the not-all-that-terrible feelings Goku experienced at Sanzo's touch, it was the heretic who pulled away first; large gold eyes looking into Sanzo's imploringly.

Breath drained from Sanzo's lungs after Goku gained the clarity to draw back. What had he done? His violet eyes went large with surprise before closing, his head bowing in defeat. He'd kissed Goku, that's what he'd done. He hadn't even done that in his dreams.

What the hell was all this?

Why had he felt the sudden urge to kiss the boy he'd raised for six years?

Why did he have the sneaking suspicion that this ran deeper, much deeper, than the lust he'd been counting on this entire time?

Why had the kiss felt so right?

"Sanzo?" Goku asked softly.

Sanzo found the ground to the right of Goku excessively interesting at this point.

"Sanzo..." Goku repeated just a little bit louder.

Once again, Sanzo ignored Goku in favor of steadfastly refusing to meet the eyes that had brought him to his knees.

Goku huffed before drawing his hand up to grasp the front of his keeper's robes. In one quick motion, he'd reconnected their lips.

Both felt the radiating warmth of the other and pressed closer to access that heat in the middle of their grey surroundings. Sanzo's hands hung awkwardly for a moment, not knowing where to put them, or if to put them anywhere at all, but in the end he tentatively rested them upon Goku's hips.

Goku felt Sanzo's hands upon him, but permitted the contact. It didn't matter right now anyway. All he understood was that he wanted to be closer, closer to Sanzo in every way. Not just physically, but emotionally, now that Sanzo seemed to realize he wasn't the pushover that was expected of him. He'd felt so frozen the past couple weeks without Sanzo. Sure, the priest had been there. But...

Goku's unoccupied hand raised to clutch at Sanzo's side and he pulled them closer together just as tears began to silently leak from his eyes.

Sanzo felt Goku's pull and he, too pressed forward in an attempt to abolish all space between them. He didn't know why, but something inside him told him that he needed this. He needed Goku. He needed Goku here with him, Mind and Body. Because having his charge so detached from him... had hurt. Deeper than Sanzo would ever admit.

Warm lips conformed to one another, and as comfortable as it felt, both were too nervous to deepen it. All Sanzo knew was how warm Goku's lips were against his own, and all Goku knew was how soft Sanzo's mouth was pressing against his.

The kiss was broken mutually this time due to the lack of air. Both were panting slightly, trying to regain their breath. And it was Sanzo's turn to stare at Goku in confusion.

And it was Goku's turn to look slightly haunted and move to return to the inn.

A few moments after Goku's lingering heat dispersed, Sanzo hurried after his charge.

He caught up to Goku outside the inn, but slowed before reaching him. Goku entered the inn and Sanzo held back a minute before join him. Upon entering, he saw Goku slouched on the couch in the lobby in front of a roaring fire. Stomping over to Goku, he hauled the boy up by his collar and dragged him upstairs.

"Gah! Sanzo!? What the hell?!"

"Quiet, monkey, it's late."

They reached Sanzo's room without much of and incident. Goku stumbled in after Sanzo released him while his keeper remained by the door closing it softly before leaning against it and gazing intently at his captive.

Goku looked apprehensive, "Sanzo?"

"Hm?"

"You're still calling me."

"Huh," Sanzo paused, allowing his body to slide to the floor, "You want to know about my dreams?" Goku nodded slowly, as if fearful of what he'd just gotten himself into. Sanzo sighed, "The first one was just before we last ran into Kougaiji and friends. You had become Seiten Taisei, and you killed me," he caught Goku's slight intake of breath, "The second one..." He closed his eyes, not wanting to see he charge as he admitted this, "You... and me... we were..."

Goku stopped him.

"I get it, Sanzo."

Sanzo sighed again, but in relief this time, "The last one, I had just an hour ago."

"What happened?"

Sanzo didn't answer for a couple of seconds, "I'm not sure. You were there... but you didn't do anything but... sleep."

"I was sleeping?"

"That what I said, wasn't it? Yeah. You were asleep, and it was... two or three years ago? Your hair," he gestured toward Goku's chocolate mop, "Was still long. Nothing much happened. You just slept, but then... everything began to melt."

"Melt? What?"

"You grew. It was as if everything was on fast forward. Suddenly we were in an inn, and you were... as you are now."

"Huh."

"And... then I, or the dream me, began to think. About things, I don't think about. About you, and about how... you aren't the same monkey I pick up at Mt. Gogyo," Sanzo didn't miss the stiffening at the mountain's name, "You have grown. And I've just noticed," He opened his eyes to find Goku watching him, also seated on the floor leaning against the bed, "I suppose that's why you had such a stick up your ass, huh?"

Goku face scrunched at the description, but nodded anyway, "It's like you guys only saw me from back then. I was tired of being treated like I was still fifteen. Do you know how frustrating that is?" he sighed, "I'm not that kid anymore. And... and I didn't know how to make any of you see it."

Sanzo gave a dry laugh, "Well, I definitely see it now."

Goku's face took on a contemplative look, "How long have you been... think about that... with me?"

Violet eyes closed again, "Since... that night when Gojyo and I got smashed."

"You think it was because you drank too much?" Goku asked, and Sanzo willed himself to not imagine a hint of disappointment in the saru's words.

"No," Sanzo said, voice thick with conviction, "I drank too much because of it."

"Is that all it is?" Goku asked. "Just wanting... that?"

Sanzo opened his eyes, even though the question was one that he was shy about answering, "I did... for a awhile," Screw that, the eyes stay closed. It's just easier that way, "Then, I had the dream just now."

"Did something else happen in the dream?"

"No. It... I just..." Sanzo manage to stumble through and explanation of his dream thoughts as Goku listened intently.

"What... does that mean?" Goku hesitated trying to press for more.

"When I... out in the forest. All I knew... all I knew..."

"Was how warm it felt?"

Sanzo opened his eyes and took in his charge. For the first time in weeks, those golden eyes held no ice or hardness. They were soft again, but were lit with a light Sanzo hadn't seen before.

"Yeah," he agreed. Slowly, he made his way over to Goku across the floor. "You kissed me back. Why?"

Goku cocked his head to the side, "Cuz I wanted to," Sanzo blinked. Was it really that simple? "And you know what?" Goku asked, glancing up at his still startled guardian. "I wanna do it again."

Sanzo allowed a small smirk before descending to kiss Goku once more.

They moved to the bed between long, languid kisses, but when Goku back collided with the mattress, reality came crashing down upon Sanzo's shoulders.

He pulled back, staring into Goku's half-lidded eyes. "Do you want this? I mean, you're not bothered by..."

"By what?"

"Were both guys, baka."

"So? Does that matter?"

"... No, I guess it doesn't."

Sanzo just stared for a few moments, and Goku became uncomfortable once more.

"Why are you doing this? You've been a pissy monkey for the past couple weeks and now you're willing to snap back to normal just like that?"

Goku frowned at the nickname, but didn't bring it up, "Yeah, but you were being an ass, too. I was just trying to prove that I wasn't a kid you could push around," he smirked, "And besides, I wouldn't call this all that normal," he accented this claim with a roll of the hips.

Sanzo growled, slightly disapproving. It made him uncomfortable that Goku understood sex. But he supposed he'd better get used to it.

"Beware, monkey," Sanzo growled in warning as he leaned down to whisper in his charge's ear, "Once the ride starts you can't get off until it's over."

"Just get on with it Sanzo!" Goku keened arching up into the heat of Sanzo once again.

Sanzo almost chuckled at that. Almost.

Instead he slacked his entire body, allowed he and Goku to press against each other on every surface. Goku groaned as he instinctively grasped Sanzo's sides. Sanzo's own arms were bracing himself up by Goku's face, forearms propping himself up slightly, but still leaving their chests in close contact.

"What do you want, Goku?" Sanzo breathed, feeling his cock go rigid as he recalled exactly what Goku had wanted in his dreams.

"I... I don't know..." Goku answered between ragged pants, "I don't know how..."

Ah. Now Sanzo understood. Well, at least he wouldn't have to worry about Goku trying to top. The saru didn't even know where to stick it. At least not when it came to sex with another man.

"You don't have to," Sanzo explained, thrusting his almost fully solid erection against Goku's hips. His charge sired out, feeling the hardness that was Sanzo's need for the second time. This time, it didn't throw him completely off guard. He understood now. At least more than he had.

"B-but..." Goku cut himself off with a gasp. Sanzo tongue had begun to lap at his neck, massaging his pulse point. When Goku wrapped his legs around Sanzo's waist, Sanzo decided Goku's clothes had to go.

In a few quick motions, Sanzo had removed Goku's shirt and was beginning to undo his captive's pants when Goku began to squirm under his grasp.

"Sa-Sanzo... not fair..." Goku hissed, grip tightening upon Sanzo robes, "You... you better get these off, or I'll get them off for you!"

"Impatient monkey," Sanzo mumbled but divested anyway. Robes fluttered to the floor followed soon by his leathers. Now both men were half-naked... and not that half that counted. They each could feel the other's excitement through two pairs of jeans.

Sanzo was slightly in shock. Goku was actually aroused. By him. Never in his wildest dreams, had he ever expected his wildest dreams to become reality. Goku was always, on some level, off limits. But now, it was definitely Goku under him, on a bed.

"Sanzoooo..." Goku moaned. Sanzo fought the urge to let loose an answering moan, instead opting to duck down and trace the defined lines of Goku's stomach with his tongue. Hands followed soon after as they trailed down Goku's trim sides, leaving goose bumps in their feathery wake.

When Sanzo's hands reached the top of Goku's pants, he took the opportunity to glance up at his charge's face.

Once again, Goku head was thrown back, but the moisture that covered it was not rainwater this time around. It was the sheen of sweat. Sliding back up Goku's body, creating friction on all planes of their bodies, Sanzo returned his lips to Goku's, desperately parting them and delving his tongue into the deepest recesses of Goku's mouth. He tasted every surface, relishing in the wild flavor Goku possessed. His stomach flipped when a tongue met his own. He readily took Goku up on a sensuous dance inside the saru's mouth.

As they kissed, Sanzo began to unfasten Goku's fly, fingers brushing an erection through fabric. Goku arched again into his light caresses.

With Goku's pants finally undone, Sanzo reached in to claim his prize, but was stalled by Goku shifting beneath him, shrugging his jeans all the way off. Tempted with the skin Goku was offering, Sanzo quickly shed his own jeans. He lowered him self slowly back down, allowing their naked torsos to meet for the first time. Two sets of breath hitched at the raw feeling of being body-to-body, skin to skin, hip to hip.

Sanzo's excitement grew at the feeling of Goku's erection pressed so temptingly into his navel. His own cock was brushing Goku's thighs maddeningly.

The kiss finally broke when Goku was unable to restrain a moan. Tossing his head back in abandon, Goku grabbed Sanzo's hips in a brutal grasp, pulling their groins flush against each other. Sanzo eyes left Goku's craned neck to skim the teen's chest, glistening with accumulated sweat. His breath hitched softly.

Skin.

Sanzo's eyes widened at the jolt of deja vu, but shook it off quickly. He had other things to attend to, like making Goku scream.

Scream? Shit... he'd totally forgotten that they weren't alone in this inn. Gojyo and Hakkai could walk in any minute. And anyone passing by would have been able to hear Goku's noises, and he doubted that unless they were in his position, they would take kindly to their inner ruckus.

Thoughts were erased when Goku bucked against him again, and Sanzo noted how Goku's strong hands fisted the sheets beneath them, already stained with the sweat of two bodies.

Sheets.

Sanzo paused again as deja vu gripped his senses once more. He vaguely felt Goku slump back against the bed.

"Sanzo?" Goku breathed, a hint of desperation ringing in his call. The word ripped Sanzo back to the present, and the variety of feast lain before him. As he back to caress every surface from thighs to nape, Goku began to pant wildly, lean chest heaving. Sanzo drug his nails down the sides of Goku's pelvis, amused at how Goku's body could decide on which way to shift, pressing one hand only drew it farther away from it's counterpart. Sanzo pressed harder to relieve the boy's hormones of the decision.

Sanzo's hands relocated to Goku's stomach as his tongue dipped into Goku's navel.

His own hands brushing against a smooth torso.

The shock of deja vu didn't even phase the monk this time, mind unconsciously making the connection between now, and the dream they were re-enacting.

As Sanzo worshiped Goku's fit abdomen with lips and teeth, his hands recalled their original mission, and they began to make their back down to the apex of Goku's legs.

His hands trailing between corded thighs.

First he teased the skin around his target, making Goku pant harder and squirm, trying to establish the wanted contact. Sanzo quit with his stomach nibbling to watch Goku's face as he teased every part of his charge but the one spot Goku wanted him at.

"Sanzo! Stop b-being a bastard!!" Goku barked, but his voice was unnaturally breathy in his attempt to sound commanding.

Sanzo redirected his course once again.

A ruddy cock.

Sanzo finally took in the entirety of Goku's manhood. Yet another solid piece of evidence defining Goku as a young man. Goku in no way resembled the pre-teen Sanzo had seen when bathing Goku in their early days at Chang'An.

Grasping the hard flesh, Sanzo began to stroke with finesse garnered after years of tending to his own infrequent needs.

Up, down, up, down. Thumb the head. Up, down, up, down. Drag fingers up the underside, then back down. Fondle balls. Up, down, up, down. Thumb the head again. Up, down...

His hand wrapped around said cock.

Sanzo noticed the leak of pre-cum that made his handling of Goku's more delicate parts, smooth. The pearly fluid dripped slowly from the slit in the head he'd so tenderly teased. Tentatively, he lowered his mouth to meet the steady seepage. A cautious taste of the substance had Sanzo diving back down for more. As he greedily sucked upon Goku's arousal, he reveled in the heady scent that was Goku surrounding him. Goku tasted so purely wild that Sanzo almost thought the act of tasting him should be a protected feat. Like the untamed forests in other corners of the world, Goku was as feral as they came. So uncultivated, you could taste it. He had the basest of purity, even with Sanzo deflowering him.

Suddenly, Sanzo felt all of Goku's abdominal muscles tense at once, coiling down to the flesh that Sanzo was enveloping. He glanced up just in time to watch Goku arch bonelessly off the bed, displaying his flexibility at it's finest. This trick was accompanied by a jet of cum colliding with the back of Sanzo's throat.

An arching back.

Fountains of cum.

Sanzo struggled to keep all of Goku's seed within his mouth, but failed, feeling a decent trail escape his lips and trickle down the side of his jaw. Goku's eyes met his, glassy in the aftermath of his climax, and it was Goku's breath that hitched. Sanzo found himself hauled up face to face with his charge, being kissed with in an inch of his life.

Goku's tongue delved into his mouth without hesitation, stoking the flames of Sanzo's desire until it be came nearly too much to bear. His mind began to wander to where he could find an adequate lube... Gojyo's room.

He reluctantly pulled away from Goku's welcomingly wet mouth to whisper in his sensitive ear. "I'll be right back."

"Where..." Goku breathed.

"Get something real fast. Don't. Move." Sanzo was up and out the door in a flash, wrapping his robes around himself for temporary cover. Once they were adjusted just so, the only sign that he wasn't fully dressed was his leather-less hands peeking from his sleeves.

Sanzo emerged in the hall, carefully checking to make sure no one was around, before crossing the hall and slipping into Gojyo's room where the kappa was snoring gruesomely.

Treading carefully so as not to wake up his cockroach companion, Sanzo made his way over to Gojyo's pack. After a few moments of rifling through it, Sanzo came up empty handed. Growling to himself out of frustration combined with discomfort with leaving his arousal untended for so long, Sanzo scanned the room for any possible to clue to the location of Gojyo's lube stash.

Eventually, he spotted the lucrative target, on Gojyo's bedside table.

Luckily, the floorboards were on Sanzo's side, and they didn't creak when he approached the bed. Quickly snatching his mark, Sanzo made to leave the room in a hurry.

"Sanzo-sama?" The sleepy voice of Gojyo drifted to where Sanzo had just been about to steal out the door. The culprit growled under his breath, "Why are you in my room at..." Gojyo glanced at the digital clock on his bedside table, "... one in the morning?" Gojyo did a double take, "And where's my lube?" By the time Gojyo had returned his crimson gaze to the door, Sanzo was gone. 'Hmph,' Gojyo thought, 'Suspicious bastard.' He returned to sleep soon enough.

Sanzo leaned on the wall outside Gojyo's room, breathing deeply. Thank god he'd managed to get out of there. He did NOT want to explain to Gojyo why he'd jacked the kappa's lube. He looked at the bottle in his hand.

A bottle.

After a few more deep breaths, Sanzo returned to his room and the waiting Goku.

Goku spotted him a few seconds after he reached the doorway. "Sanzoooo!" He hissed, hands tangled in his own brown locks and hips raising slightly off the bed. That was enough incentive for Sanzo.

Sanzo crossed the room in a few strides and slid back into place a top Goku.

"Ready?" He growled, and he received and affirmative growl in return.

Popping the cap, Sanzo squeezed a sizeable amount of the lubricant onto his fingers before positioning them at Goku's entrance. He slowly began to insert his coated fingers.

The stretching.

Goku did his best to relax while Sanzo's fingers intruded upon his entrance, and soon, Sanzo was thrusting and scissoring three fingers inside his charge. And Goku was meeting his hand thrust for thrust.

Sanzo deemed him ready.

He used the last of the lube on his hand to slick his erection. Turning Goku quickly so that he was on hands and knees, Sanzo lined himself up with Goku's prepped channel.

To his surprise, Goku, whose eyes were closed and mouth was slack with pleasure, began to ease back on to Sanzo's erection without prompting from his guardian.

The sight of his erection entering the prepared body.

Both Sanzo and Goku groaned when Sanzo's shaft was in as far as it could go. He was fully sheathed inside Goku's tight heat.

The sensation were sending blinding white lights to flash inside Sanzo's vision and before he knew what he was doing, he was franticly pounding Goku into the mattress. Except for the fact that Goku's unrivaled strength allowed him to remain on hands and knees, meeting each of Sanzo's thrusts with equal power and zeal.

Pale hands trailed down the light bronze skin of Goku's lower back and saw muscles twist and contort at his touch.

Taut skin rippling under his touch.

"Ah! Ah! Ahhh! Sanzooo!" Goku gasped as Sanzo kept up the steady rhythm. Calloused hands wound tight in the grisly bed sheets to grant himself better leverage when returning Sanzo's thrusts.

Hands grasping at soiled bedclothes.

Sanzo draped himself over Goku, never relenting his hammering into the saru's willing ass. His hands slid down Goku's taught arms to cover the fisted hands braced against the mattress. It was then he began to nip at Goku's neck, triggering keening cries erupting from Goku's wanton throat.

Lovebites on a bronzed neck.

His biting and sucking spree didn't last long. Sanzo found himself suddenly overcome by the desire to see Goku's face as they joined. Pulling out slowly, he gently maneuvered Goku back to his previous position.

And gold.

Lots of gold.

Half-lidded, golden eyes met Sanzo's, and the priest groaned. Coupled with the slight flush of Goku's face, the heretic's expression was absolutely seductive.

Gold eyes, half-lidded as their owner panted beneath him.

Sanzo's ragged breathing joined Goku's now as he eased back through Goku's tight ring of muscle. His head dipped low from the exertion and his blond hair fell in his eyes.

Their rhythm was resumed and Sanzo found himself at wit's end. Goku was now shuddering beneath him and Sanzo could feel the tightening of muscle in his own torso just as he had in Goku minutes before. They we both very close.

Goku's hands found themselves meshed in his own brown hair once again as Sanzo's hands reached down to cup Goku's ass, squeezing it lightly.

"Ahhhh! S-Sanzooo..." Goku's cries grew louder and more fretful the closer they got to their hard earned release.

"Go... ku..." Sanzo hissed. "I... I think I..."

Sanzo was cut off by Goku's already excruciatingly tight heat constricting around him in a brutal embrace. And Goku came. Fountains of milky seed splattering against Sanzo's stomach with the intensity of Goku's orgasm.

Gold eyes shining like two burning suns as Goku climaxed.

His charge's climax triggering his own.

Sanzo followed not a second after.

Sanzo slid out and collapsed beside his lover. They sat their panting in silence until the room began to cool around them, dimming the pungent smell of sex that wafted about the room. It was then that Sanzo moved to retrieve the blankets that had been shoved to the foot of the bed. As he settled down on the bed with Goku spooned against his chest, he heard his charge speak.

"Sanzo... I don't think I love you."

Sanzo was ashamed of the way his the tightness in his chest returned at Goku's words.

"But..." Goku continued, "I think... I could love you," he yawned and sleep began to creep into his voice, "If you... start looking at me like you did tonight." And after that Sanzo heard Goku's breathing even out, and he knew his charge was asleep.

He pulled Goku a little closer, and felt darkness invade the edges of his vision. And sleep overcame him as well.

~-~-~-~

Gojyo sat on the edge of Hakkai bed, languidly smoking a cigarette. Hakkai was lounged against the headboard reading a book.

The red head to turned to address his friend, "You think they're done?"

Hakkai tore his attention away from his novel and listened intently for a few moments, "Yes. I think they are," he looked over at Gojyo, "Were they really bothering you that much?"

Gojyo shrugged, "I guess it wouldn't have been so weird if I didn't know who it was exactly. And I wouldn't have, if the stupid monk hadn't lifted my lube..." he grumbled.

"Do you think things are going to change?" Hakkai asked solemnly.

Gojyo pondered the question for a moment, "I think the monkey will stop being such a hard ass. He proved his point, I guess. But I don't think Sanzo'll change at all. He was already fucking in love with the saru before. Just cuz the chimp knows now won't change a thing."

Hakkai smiled. Sanzo, of all people had been the one to sooth Goku's insecurities and quell his frustration. Though, Hakkai thought, he was probably the only one capable in the first place.

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